Thursday, December 23, 2010

Indecisive/Contemplative Nesting & Meet Phillip

Indecisive/Contemplative Nesting:

Yesterday I may have been nesting. Or, I was just being woman. :) While starting to pack our hospital bag and get our car seat set up I washed majority of Ryan's newborn clothes and a few of his receiving blankets. I couldn't decide on which ones to pack as his 'coming home outfits' so I instead placed them neatly in a basket while maintaining a smile on my face. I wonder if the hospital will let me bring the whole basket in addition to our hospital bag.

Last night I also ended up vacuuming, washing all the dishes and cleaning the stainless steal. Doesn't sound like much, but this is after totally having a crying my eyes blow out from the worst sciatic nerve pain experienced so far and Jesse asking me if I feel like I'm in control. Jesse was making sure I'm feeling enough healthy control while still maintaining the "teamwork" & good communication in our relationship. I started to unintentionally planning 'our' time without checking in with Jesse. I had also been thinking out loud about a lot of protective ideas I have been contemplating (moving to obsessing over) lately. i.e. Can sick people hold my newborn?, How much space will I be able to have with our baby when he is born?, How do I communicate/know boundaries with visitors that we want Ryan to see/meet? Will the puppy barking really disturb baby Ryan? Because that won't go over well with me.) It's easy for me to let my mind take me away. I am so thankful I have a husband who also has a grounded foundation in Christ. As a woman it is essential for me to hear loving correction and know the difference between healthy reality and runaway train thoughts. The feelings and thoughts are real and are how I am feeling, but are they true, right and healthy? Over all, are the thoughts/feelings reassuring who I am in Christ or feeding into an unhealthy 'old Liz' or who 'Liz thinks she needs to be'? I'm thankful for these occasional check ins.

The last one being rather humorous when I was yet again having another emotional night (happening more often through out the pregnancy) where hubby could be gentle for only so long. He eventually lovingly told me to stop the 'Woe is me' insecure Liz because I will one day drive our kids insane. I'll tell you! That's exactly what I needed! Unhealthy thoughts killed instantly.

Now on a lighter note....

Meet Phillip:

Jesse fell in love with a stuffed animal that plays music at Target the other day. We bought it and Jesse named him Phillip. I think he is perfect. Phillip is super soft. Ryan will fall asleep to Phillip many nights. Phillip brings out a very soft and melty side of both me and Jesse. We like Phillip. Hopefully Ryan will too.

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